Cliché

if only its that easy

and just like that she crumbles apart. again. however this time there's nothing left for her to hold onto. the only thing which had kept her sane had been snatched away with just that one word. the only thing which had kept her happy and contented had been tainted with just that one word. and it is during times like this that she smiles her brightest smile and pretends that nothing hurts when truth is everything hurts.

Birthday wishlist

All I ever want for my 18th birthday is:

• Nokia E6
• Sing You Home by Jodi Piccoult
• Evening is the whole day by Preeta Samarasan
• The Ice Cream Girls by Dorothy Koomson
• The Woman He Loved before by Dorothy Koomson
• The Calligrapher's Daughter by Eugenia Kim

*pretty pretty please* :3

Shopping Spree: Hatyai 2011

My shopping haul from my short trip to Hatyai the other day. Manage to splurge on quite a few stuff as compared to my last time there which was 4 years ago;

#1 Black pump (RM30)

i had my eyes on another pair of 6 inch boots but my mom was adamant that i will definitely fall wearing that so i got this instead; had wanted to get the grey version of this heels which is more chic and versatile but the stall only sells one pair of heels for each size and they ran out of my size for the grey one so no choice but still i'm happy

#2 Super adorable flip flop (RM12)

bought this at the pasar but apparently we got scammed for a higher price as we saw the exact one sold for only RM6 at a roadside stall *heartache*

#3 hair clip (3 for RM5)

#4 Hot pink pencil skirt (RM20)

totally love this skirt. all my blouse, skirts, pants and dress that are formal enough for my presentations are all in shades of black and white. boring i know but now i can add more fun and colour with this skirt.

#5 Liese: Cassis Berry (RM29)

bought this at the supermarket because they're selling it way cheaper than the price you can get it in Malaysia. i saved a whooping RM9 and they came with a free gift also (:

Overall the trip wasn't that memorable but i'm a happy woman nonetheless with all my goods :3

One thing

I really need at the moment is to be truly genuinely happy; to be able to really feel joy instead of just a glimpse of it. Its all I want at the moment. Please?

Passion is what matters the most

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

— Text of Steve Jobs’ commencement address, Stanford University, 2005

Child Abuse

An old post of mine from my old blog;

Have you ever come across children in threadbare or tattered clothing begging for money on the roads or wandering alone on the streets? Have you ever seen children with burnt marks, scalded skins and scars all over their body? Or have you by any chance had any acquaintance with an adorable child who looks perfectly fine on the outside but is carrying emotional scars on the inside? Have you?

Because I had and every single time any of it happens, my heart always go out to them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type that wear my heart on my sleeves and cry for every single thing on earth because I'm not. But there is nothing more heart wrenching than seeing (literally) a child being abuse.

It should not hurt to be a child but for some it does. The many protagonists in the non-fictions that Cathy Glass wrote about went through the most unimaginable things that you can think of; raped, abandoned, abused, and more. These are the things that are not suppose to happen to anyone what more a child but it doesn't just stop there- these things were done to them by the one who was suppose to protect them. These are the kids whose trusts are betrayed by the very same person who should have protected them instead.

Take Constance Briscoe as an example: she was one of the first black women to sit as a judge in UK. People who had not read her book will not realize that she was terribly abused by her own mother- a person who was suppose to love and dote on her instead abused her in every way possible that Constance went as far as to get herself admitted to a children's home. She is a successful person but it must have been a long and horrendous route to reach where she is today. From attempting suicide to her visits to various doctors, from financing her own studies to finally publishing Ugly. Yes, its undeniable that what she went through had made her a better and stronger person. But seriously, does anyone deserve this kind of abuse?

I don't think so. Children are gifts. Gifts that many yearned for and yet were denied of while some just take them lightly. Childhood are suppose to be the happiest phase in our life because that the only time when we're not plagued with problems, worries and dilemmas. Because thats the time when we're truly happy or sad because we just are. No pretending to smile or trying to hide our problems to the world. Children are the most straightforward being. They are a blessing in disguise.

I am lucky and grateful that I did not have to go through what Vicky Jaggers, Dave Pelzer, and Vanessa Steel went through but in lieu of just being happy and grateful with our life we can do something to prevent this from happening. We can stop child abuse if we want to. At the end of the day,it all comes down to whether or not we are willing to do something? I am. Are you?

Life so far

I have been in college for 10 weeks including orientation and so far I'm coping. I'm only taking five subjects this semester and I find that most of my lecturers are likable enough albeit not having good command of English. My seniors are really nice and I'm getting along quite well with my course mates. Hostel life is pretty okay in fact; I have the freedom I need and I get to wake up really late for class since I'm practically staying on campus but I hate going back on friday because my timetable is a biatch.

I'm going fro an impromptu trip to Hatyai next friday and I can't wait for the trip to Taiwan end of next month although it will probably clash with my finals *sigh* However much that I don't want to resit my exam because of being absent, I cannot forgo this trip either since this will probably be my last sponsored trip. I'm back to planning my backpacking trip. I'm still saving up the money and I hope that I have the courage to tell my mom of my first solo backpacking trip abroad and hopefully she will agree to it *cross fingers*

I bumped into a member of mine the other day and it made me realized that I still miss work very much. I left without notifying most of my member but the close ones. It is irresponsible of me but at that time I still couldn't fathom the idea of resigning hence I choose oblivion. I do know that even if I'm still working there, things are very different now because most of them whom I treasured are no longer there anymore but still it does not stop me from missing the days I spent working there.

2011 has been a pretty eventful year for me. I've met people whom I really really cherish and eventually I had lost two people who matters a lot to me. IMY ahma and C.