And she twirls around and around

Semester 1 has officially ended!

I had my last paper yesterday then the bunch of us went down to KL to just hang around. We started off with McD then LowYat then when the rest were headed to Pavillion, I wandered off to look for my sandals. I fell down the stairs in college on Tuesday and like luck would have it, my sandals broke (and I was wearing a mini skirt. Oh the horror!) so I was urgently and desperately in need for a new sandals for my trip to Taiwan on Monday. Managed to bought one comfortable yet chic sandal within my budget then met the rest in Sg.Wang's Snowflake.

I had wanted to go back already before HuanHee texted me and asked me to accompany her to eat Snowflake in Sg.Wang (the coincidence) and after several seconds of persuasion and several minutes of reluctance, I decided to stay back after all and waited for her. I had a round of Snowflake with her and met her boy before we wandered off and stayed nearly two hours in Cotton On. It was late already when we headed back to college and hence with no choice I hastily packed all my four months of remnants of hostel stay before headed home.

Overall I guess I did okay for my finals, however, I'm not that sure that 4.00 CGPA is still within my grasp. I think I blew off my chance of getting an A for Intro to IT when I wasted 1 1/2 days of the 2 days allocated to revise for IT by reading fictions (old habit die hard). The Journalism paper was hard also as in like I had just enough time to do all the four questions only.But still I'm praying, hoping and wishing that I can still get A for all five papers. Semester 1 was fun and I heard that Semester 2 promised to be hectic. I can't wait or Semester 2 to start although my 3 weeks holiday had just begun and I will be starting the iconic start of Semester2 on my 18th birthday. Till then I shall rot for 2 weeks at home.

On an unrelated note, I was perusing through my fb when I came to the fact that a very close friend of mine from when I was working at Celebrity has started college and I was stunned. For me, all my colleagues at Celebrity are mature and adult albeit the fact that some of them are only two or three years older than me. So when I found out that someone whom I deemed to be so adult and mature are going through the same phase-college- as me I was a tad too stunned before I came to my senses and feel elated for her. Although I only know her for a mere three months, she's more of a closer friend to me than some whom I have known for years. She's a strong lady who handles the difficulties life had thrown at her without faltering. A lady that despite her complicated childhood and difficult adolescent has turned out to be who no one has expected her to be and for that I hope you'll be a successful psychologist, monyet :D

P.s: I really hope you will remember. I really do.

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccoult

I never read any book twice which is why it is such a surprise that not only did I read My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Piccoult twice but on both occasion also it made me wept my heart out. My Sister’s Keeper is the first book by Jodi Piccoult which I read and which got me addicted to her writings. She is an amazing author who touches controversial topics in her writing. Be it a gun shot in high school or a gay relationship, she is the one author who manages to touch in-depth on these topics and yet never offend anyone. She is the one author who never fails to inspire me with her writings. If I were to ask to pick any author books to read for the rest of my life, I would pick her

In My Sister’s Keeper, Jodi Piccoult spins a fast-paced tale about betrayal and redemption in a family which are falling apart. It tells the story of Anna and Kate; two sisters who are bonded together by Kate’s leukaemia. Kate’s leukaemia is the sole reason on why Anna was brought into the world and also the main reason that are tearing the Fitzgerald family apart. For thirteen years, Anna was who the doctors and their mother turn to in order to save Kate from her never ending medical condition. Be it a bone marrow or leukocytes, Anna was the supplier.

No one ever asked her for her permission, they just assumed that she was willing to go through countless operations and growth shots in order for Kate to live. To finally be able to live her life without being overshadowed by her sister, Anna sued her parents for medical emancipation; to finally be able to have a say on her own body rights. And by doing that she unravels the threads that were barely holding her family together.

Not willing to let her Kate die from kidney failure, both of their mother, Sara Fitzgerald decided to go against the lawsuit. On the surface, Sara was described as the cold-hearted mother who was willing to go against anything against the odd to save her elder daughter from dying even if it means exploiting her younger daughter and neglecting her son, Jesse. Jesse was the neglected son. The first born that was forgotten in the midst of their never ending attempts of saving Kate and thus he grew up to be rebellious.

However if you look deeper, instead of seeing a cold-hearted mother, you will see a mother who is torn into two. A mother who loves her children so much that nothing she do will ever be good enough for them. Sara was put in a tight spot when she was asked to choose between her daughters; a daughter whom she had devoted her whole life to or a daughter whom she had neglected; a daughter who are dying physically or a daughter who are dying emotionally. Who will you choose if you were her?

It also makes us ponder on Anna’s action. By instigating the lawsuit, does it make her the selfish younger sister or does it shows a terrified and vulnerable thirteen years old who just wants to live?

I love this book because it made us realize that there are always two sides to a coin. It also questions our belief on right and wrong; what might be right might be wrong and what we deemed to be wrong might be right all along. This book also portrayed that there’s only a thin line separating moral and law when love and compassion are involved in the equations.

Overall, I would rate this book 11 out of 10.

The light at the end of the tunnel

Tarc grading system is that 60% of our final semester marks comes from our coursework marks which consist of individual/group assignments and also presentation meanwhile the rest of the 40% comes from our final exam. Apparently I'm doing pretty well in my coursework. I actually scored the highest in two of my subject; Hubungan Etnik(which is a compulsory sejarah-like subject) and also on my IT practical. I'm also the only one in my course that gets an A in Hubungan Etnik. I also did pretty well for my journalism coursework. My journalism lecturer actually applauded me for my mid-term exam. An exam in which I was suppose to form 5 questions then go out and interview two people then write a news article about the increasing number of jobless graduates in Malaysia. I was the fastest to form my questions and she actually commented that my questions are good and that I was the only one in my course that actually narrowed down my focus for the exam, plus she was very satisfied with the questions that I came up for each of the ministry in my Cabinet Members coursework. She also told me that I have potential to be a good journalist. It might be a small and petty compliment to others but for me I couldn't have been happier. Besides, for a person like me who shy away from attention and who loathe to speak in front of public I did myself proud by garnering compliments from my lecturers that I'm good in my presentation. They said that I managed to deliver my points efficiently with my voice being loud and clear and also by my body language. I actually scored a 27/30 for my Hubungan Etnik presentation; the highest mark he has ever given to all of the 200+ students that he was teaching. I am not stating all this to brag but with all the negativity and downs that I was having in my life lately all these are actually a very good turns of events in my life. Compliments that will keep me going and striving hard to achieve what I want.

P.s: am going to study super hard to score a 3.75/4.00 CGPA for my first semester (:

And here she goes again

I amaze myself at how easily i fall apart these days. How easily I hurt myself by trusting and caring for people who I deemed to be my friends.

Melancholic

The Melancholic mind has a Motive derived from 'perfection'; they are idealists, and wish for everything to be a certain way. This leads to emergent traits such as self-deprecation - they can't live up to their standards; analysis and learning - in order to understand, to know, because to be ignorant is to be lacking; being critical - since others don't live up to their standards; stubborness - a trait shared with the choleric, but due to a differnent 'motive'; they are tenacious and cannot let things go because 'good enough' is not good enough, and perfection is a desirable outcome.

Their generally dour demeanour comes about as this inner struggle between an imperfect world and a desire for perfection, and their introversion comes about similarly; they don't feel that they are worthy so seeking out others with confidence is difficult. They may also feel that others do not interest them sufficiently since they don't meet their too-high standards.

In a primitive pack, they may have been the 'analyst'; the one who surveyed, gathered data, and so on; a middle rank. Their analysis was important for survival, and the more accurate it is, the better the chances of that survival; hence the perfectionism developing.

Melancholics are introverted pessimists. They prefer to spend their time alone, deep in thought. They tend to be inventors, scientists, artists, and the like.

They are very sensitive and emotional people. Criticism hurts them a lot, and they spend a lot of time being very moody... but they are the types to go and sob in a corner to themselves rather than scream in anger at anyone.

They tend to have unrealistically high expectations and standards. Things must be RIGHT according to their own personal idea of what's right; this leads to them arguing almost as much as cholerics would, but for different reasons. The choleric may argue to assert his superiority, but the melancholic would argue to 'set wrongs right'.

They are tenacious, and cannot leave alone things that they find to be wrong; they 'refuse to drop it' or 'let it go'. This can lead to intolerance and even more arguing.

Due to their absurdly high standards, they find themselves failing to meet them and this leads to self-deprecation. They are loth to push themselves forward or brag about themselves, even if they are particularly skilled.

They are analytical and seek to understand things thoroughly; this, along with most of their time spent alone rather than having fun with others, is what leads them to becoming scientific or artistic.

They ask specific questions and crave detailed answers. Knowledge, information, understanding... these things are all deeply important to them.

They can be difficult to know, as they do get moody, jealous, and so on... but they realise their own faults. They hate others, but hate themselves as well.

Melancholics are perfectionists. Often, things are a 'perfect or nothing' affair; if they can't do something impeccably, then they often won't do it at all. Due to their low opinion of themselves, this often leads to them not doing things because they feel they'll only fail.

They are known to complain all the time about nearly everything, but these complaints tend to be directed at 'things in general' rather than criticism of a specific person. "My legs hurt! The sky's too bright! I don't like the look of those houses! Politics are annoying! I don't like things!"

They tend to judge people quickly and in detail, assessing the nature of a person from their clothing, their mannerisms, just the look of them... They make up their mind about people quickly from what they observe briefly, and it's hard to change this first impression

déplacement sur ​​les

i've spent some time thinking about you today and i came to the conclusion that you're definitely someone i want and need in my life but that doesn't necessarily mean you will so im letting myself go from this tangle of mess and instead focus on something that i can get when i try hard enough.

The ♥ of my life

Nokia E6

I fell deeply and madly in ♥ with this baby. How can anybody not? I shall save up and buy this baby of mine by the end of the year but only if i get a 3.75 cgpa for my first semester exam.that will be a great motivation for to me strive harder for the finals i hope.