how nothing's funny when its you

the first thing that pops into her mind when the page finally loaded was "thank god i'm sitting down!" it was a very uncharacteristically nonacademic thought about something so very academic that now that she thinks about it, it was pretty funny. except it wasn't that funny to begin with. she was suppose to check her results the day after the results were released. partly because she was going out with her friends on the day the results were supposedly released and partly because she was lazy and a little bit too sure of herself; after all a subject that she thought she was gonna flunk for sem1 finals was a subject that she actually got a high distinction for, hence her thinking that the same would occur again. unfortunately lady luck wasn't on her side this time around.

after a debate with her friends on the merit of checking her results immediately versus checking it the day after during the ride back from klcc, she decided to cave in to her curiosity.

while the page of her results was loading she could feel her heart palpitating furiously and composing a wild tattoo of havoc within her and when the drat thing finally loaded all she could think of was that she was grateful she was sitting down because she was sure that her knees would buckle under the pressure of disappointment that was coursing through her and then she rubbed her eyes once. twice. and thrice. then she returned her attention to the page again and realized that it wasn't a slip of the eyes that resulted in a damn alphabet and symbol sitting smugly besides two of her subjects.

and when the realization of the context of the actual reality of her results that were staring blatantly in front of her face finally dawned upon her, she flinched and recoiled into a mess of devastation. her thoughts and feeling were pirouetting so fast within her that she failed to latch onto any other thoughts and feelings other than 'ohmygosh' and desolation. suddenly she felt that she had lost something of vital importance to her that she wanted to wail out in anguish; she needed to vent out her disappointment and frustration before she literally breaks down and cry in front of all those unknown faces that were scattered around in the canteen.

but all she managed to do then in her state of mind was to mutter an 'oh' to no one in particular and drag her bruised and battered emotions back to her room to mourn in silence. she did not cry. she yearned to but she didn't let herself to because although she was reluctant to admit it; it was her fault that her results were in this state; it was because of her sheer procrastination and gaming addiction that brought her to this misery and because of that she wouldn't let a single drop of tears to fall. she wouldn't provide herself with a means of physical relief from her emotional pain because it was all her fault.

she was asked by several people what her results were but she was adamant not to tell anyone about it. she did not want anyone to tell her "ok what your results.it's better than mine!" or to reassure her, "actually your cgpa is quite good." truth is, it isn't and them saying stuff like that will only serve to flatter her ego and divert her from her strive to score a perfect 4.00 gpa in the next several semesters because frankly that was what happened in the last semester and she didn't want it to recur again. and also because she knows what they will definitely say behind her back if she did decide to reveal her results. she knows that they wouldn't understand her reasoning because when it comes down to the core, no one can infer of her logic for the need of perfection.

related: atychiphobia / djr sem2

p.s: for those of you who think that i posted the two related links to show off my 'excellent' academic results i beg to differ as i deliberately put those links in this post to remind myself how far i have fallen.

TFS

i realized that my blog is filled with heavy, non interesting and sometimes downright depressing stuff and teamed up with no photos it's no wonder why my blog's a bore.

so in order to lighten up my blog with bright neon lights i'm going to dedicate this post to what i did last thursday, friday and saturday which is mundane, boring and which you guys probably don't give a damn about but hey i'm pretty sure that one prefers that over long winded post filled with many a words by one at attempting to figure out the context of life,right?

oh and for those of you that haven't figure out what TFS is, it stands for thursday,friday and saturday. it's a stupidly lame title but i couldn't figure out one which is more apt for this post so TFS it is.

Thursday

so on thursday i decided to whip out the apron and spatula to show off my awesome culinary skills. #likeaboss

my version of spaghetti carbonara

which turn out to be not that awesome after all: my first attempt at making spaghetti aglio olio based on the recipe that my ex-colleague told me a year ago was edible but the flavouring was urghhh. then i attempted to make my own version of spaghetti carbonara which was partially tasty. anyway i miscalculated the portion for the spaghetti because i thought i was cooking for two (my mom and me) but right after i finished cooking my mom told me that she's not having any of the lunch i prepared because 1) she already had something to eat since i woke up so late and 2) my spaghetti look horrible so i was left with a whole pot of spaghetti and even after having it for dinner there's still a ton of it left so to finish it off i inveigled my mom to have it for her dinner by laying down the guilt trap and of course by blackmailing le brother to have it too.

conclusion of the day? le brother definitely hogged all my mom's cooking genes and left me with none.

Friday

on friday i was terribly sick. i had been having sore throat since the night before which is a bad omen because to me, a sore throat is usually followed up by fever. it's like my immune system alerts me of my impending sickness by making my throat as dry and hoarse as sandpaper. knowing that i was going to fall sick soon i slept around 10pm on thursday night—which is very early for me during sem break because i usually sleeps around 1am during this period— but to no avail because i woke up around 4am feeling hot and cold at the same time and i felt so tired and my bones ached so much and my throat felt even worse. and being the filial person that i know i am i did not wake my mom up, instead i bundled myself up under four layers of blanket and went back to sleep. i know that this post is a mundane and boring post but i'm not that evil to bore you people to death by elaborating the minute details of this boring and mundane friday of my life so all i'm going to elucidate is that all i did for this day was sleep and played bubble puzzle because i was as sick as a dog.

don't ask how i can still play games while i was being sick for the answer is very the simple: there's only so much sleeping you can do in 24hours.

Saturday

felt better upon waking up but i'm still not going to bore you guys about my recovery so instead i'll just say that i wrapped up my saturday night with holly golightly and paul varjak (:

breakfast at tiffany's ♥

on a side note, there's a new addition in my household:

Hi! my name's bella and i'm the bitch that whines incessantly when i'm not fed or when i'm neglected to be brought out to pee and poop (;

p.s: okay so there's a cuter and less depressing photo of bella which i posted in fb and twitter but it's a vertical photo and i just can't stand vertical photo/pictures in my blog. i just can't stand it period. so you just have to bear with a depressing bella in my blog for a while or at least till the next time i snap a horizontal shot of a cheerful and non depressing bella which might take a while

The Time Traveler's Wife

i love books and i'm awfully loyal and possessive of my favourite books; these points are more than enough for me to have negative disposition towards movie that are based on books because more often than not these movies are so drastically changed and made so differently that they figuratively killed the beautifully written story that the authors have carved. it is definitely not right for one to judge something that they haven't watch but i'm pretty sure that most book lovers would have the same inclination as me especially if the movie is based on their all time favourite book.

hence, with prejudice in my mind and my judgmental glasses up, i usher the chinese new year by watching the time traveler's wife. i had expected it to be just another one of hollywood's horrible and failed attempt at trying to remake a bestseller into a blockbuster; it was suppose to be another badly made 107minutes movie to pass my time and yet at the end of that 1 hour and 47 minutes, i'm a transformed person and not in any way that i have envisage because i fell in love with the movie — if not more than the book than as much.

perhaps the reason i love this movie is because other than the gist of the book the rest of the details of it have been almost completely wiped clean from my memory as the last time i set my eyes and mind on the book was three years back but nonetheless, the screenwriter and director had achieved their goal: distinguishing the movie from the book and yet maintaining the book's magical quality.

the time traveler's wife is a story that is filled with joy, sorrows and challenges as the one thing that brought henry and clare together in the first place is slowly clawing its way into their relationship.

the chemistry between the casts was pretty solid too with eric bana as henry and rachel mcadams as clare. eric whom i'll always remember as king henry viii from the other boleyn girl did a good job in portraying henry although his portrayal as the younger henry seems a bit awkward at first but as the movie gradually moves forward he too fell in ease with his role. when rachel mcadams first came into the movie, i took an instant dislike toward her and felt that she doesn't suit to carry out the role of clare but then again i was proved wrong. if my memory serves me right the book clare was described more of a mellow and quiet beauty and the book henry can be interpreted as a geeky and specky guy but as you can see in the movie, clare was shy and fiery and henry was definitely the epitome of a hunk. either way, both eric and rachel carried out the roles of henry and clare convincingly.

it can be challenging to adapt this book into a movie due to the confusing timeline and the different narrative which is why i have to applaud screenwriter and director again for narrowing down the scope; they decided to focus on henry and clare's love story and omit out the unrelated rest which is a good move as it directs the audience attention.

i absolutely abhor it whenever the ending of a book is changed in the movie, however in this case i accept it as it synchronize really well with the story line. it was a good ending and i would say on par with the ending that audrey niffenegger wrote.

there were more than one scene in which it made me bawled my eyes out and for that alone i shall rate this movie a smashing 8/10.