untitled

I wrote and it felt good.

because i'm the royal queen of fucking up

I am very very pissed at myself. I know I could have done better; how I don't know but all I know is that I could have done better but I didn't. I should have tried harder but I didn't. Be better but I'm not. And this grates so very badly because it would have been different if I'm smarter, better. If only I had put in more effort. If only I didn't royally screw it up like I'm wont to be.I'm so very very pissed but I'm also very very disappointed. I've messed up so badly that I don't know how to make it up to her, him, them, me. How am I supposed to fix this gigantic pot of mistakes when I was the one who made them in the first place? The worse thing is not my self-loathe but that I hate myself so very much that I don't know if there'll ever be an end to it.

i'll never tell you what I saw or how it made me breathe.

James lee is a brilliant man. How can he not be when he managed to evoke such strong emotions with only the usage of very simple plot and script. The sublime beauty of this film is that he is absolutely right: there is no love more beautiful and poignant than unrequited ones.

The elation of falling, the fear of rejection, the uncertainties, even the heartbreak. Nothing spells tragic better than one sided love because it is a mishap for one to fall for another who doesn't reciprocate.

A tragedy I would say but a beautiful one at that.

Me as summed up by television shows/fictional characters

on myself

on love

on emotions

on socialising most of the time sometimes

on independence

on uncertainties

498 DPS

I haven't been this excited about anything in years. The last I was so looking forward to something was when the seventeen-year-old me fell in love with GNT and decided to plan a trip to Germany during the next world cup. Alas, that plan fell through but I'm pretty optimistic about this so fingers crossed.