Monday, April 9, 2012

One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right

I'm an average student; not overly bright but neither can I be called dumb. I hated studying back in upper secondary and it's prolly because of the fact that I took on subjects that i have naught an interest in. Albeit hating the subject and loathing them on every second of my schooling life, I knew the importance of education which means I studied for exams even if it means studying them the night prior. Whenever I got my just-average result, I'm often content because I know that your results are often proportionate to the effort that you put in unless you got really really lucky. And when you put in as little effort as I did, one wouldn't complain much about the just-average results that you get. 

However, whenever one of the smart students in my class asked for an extra mark for their solution in Additional Mathematics or when one of them debate with the teachers on their reasoning in their Chem/Bio/Physics answers even when they have already gotten a 90+ in that particular paper, I often scoffed at them with a haughty air of condescension. More often than not, I felt that these people are just being kiasu. I used to think that: "What is an extra one mark gonna do for your 95 marks? That one mark is not gonna elevate your A+ to A++, no?" Maybe I was one of those people who never really cared about my studies and yet begrudged those that do. Or maybe back then, I just didn't try to see or understand it from their point of view. But I do now.

Because why settle for less when you can have more?

You would never really understand someone unless you are put in their shoes and even then the circumstances, emotions and surrounding factors would still influence your understanding of them. I don't know what make them asked for that extra marks and I don't think so I would actually ask them two years down the road but I do know what it feels like to want to strive for that little bit more of perfection. Because after all isn't that what I have been doing for the past year and still doing now?

If I'm being totally honest with myself, I would say that I was jealous of them and since being jealous of 'kiasu' was not acceptable, I masked my jealousy under a condescending scoff. And when  this realization dawned onto me, I realized how deformed our society has become. I'm not speaking on behalf of everyone but I do know that most people had at one point or another, did or thought of doing what I had done to those classmates of mine: to judge them on their strive to success when we're supposed to be happy or supportive of them.

We had become so selfishly entangled in our pride and ego that we turn into a green eye monster whenever we see other people achieving more than what they are supposed to. And that bagged another question to ponder upon: who are we to deem what one can or cannot achieve? We also perpetually try to put others down just in order to feel that tiny bit more better of ourselves. Is it actually worth it? And As Oprah as this may sound, I believe that everyone can achieved more than what they think they can if only they believe,work hard for it and have a strong support system from their family and friends.

And maybe, just maybe, if we can only be a lil more supportive to the people around us, I think that this can actually be a better place to live in.


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