Moments worth remembering

I can never willingly or unwillingly give my books away unless I'm really forced to. And by really, I mean really really forced like with a gun on my head, and I'm a minuscule step away from falling off the cliff with huge gigantic ugly rats on the bottom of the cliff waiting to kill me with their disgusting squishy body on the rare chance that I did not die from falling off the cliff. Or in a more normal and less dramatic scenario: when I moved and even then the books that I'll give away are the books that I'm really not interested in anymore (which is very few btw). Why you may ask. Because there are times when before I go to sleep I'll head over to my bookshelf and pick a random book to reread. After picking whatever book that my mood dictates, I'll then curl up on my bed and skim through the said book again. Pure unadulterated bliss I tell you. And it is during moments like this that I'll mentally categorize the books and authors into great, okay and so-so because to me, a great book is the one where when you read through the book for the second, third or fourth time and your breath still hitch at how beautifully written the words are and you're reminded again why you love that book so much; that for me is the definition of a great book and an author who is able to wove an awe-inspiring story with beautifully and thought provoking words will automatically be hail as an amazing writer too. And then I'll wish really hard that someday I will be able to write as beautifully as those had before me. 

all i have ever wanted

I HAVE PLENTY OF AMBITION. PLENTY OF GOALS, PLENTY OF DREAMS. THE ONLY THING I’M SHORT OF IS FAITH IN MYSELF. I’M SCARED OF LIVING, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT REALITY IS EVENTUALLY GOING TO COME AND BITE ME IN THE ASS, AND I’M GOING TO BE STUCK WITH A DEAD END JOB AND A BORING LIFE. ALL I’M EVER GOING TO BE IS ‘POTENTIAL’. THAT’S ALL ANYONE WILL EVER SAY OF ME FOR THE REST OF MY CONFORMIST FUCKING LIFE, AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS TURN A BLIND EYE TO IT BECAUSE I’M TOO WEAK TO PREVENT IT. I HATE NOT KNOWING WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR ME, IT’S MORE OR LESS MY GREATEST FEAR. AND I WONDER, AM I ALONE?

The light at the end of the tunnel

Tarc grading system is that 60% of our final semester marks comes from our coursework marks which consist of individual/group assignments and also presentation meanwhile the rest of the 40% comes from our final exam. Apparently I'm doing pretty well in my coursework. I actually scored the highest in two of my subject; Hubungan Etnik(which is a compulsory sejarah-like subject) and also on my IT practical. I'm also the only one in my course that gets an A in Hubungan Etnik. I also did pretty well for my journalism coursework. My journalism lecturer actually applauded me for my mid-term exam. An exam in which I was suppose to form 5 questions then go out and interview two people then write a news article about the increasing number of jobless graduates in Malaysia. I was the fastest to form my questions and she actually commented that my questions are good and that I was the only one in my course that actually narrowed down my focus for the exam, plus she was very satisfied with the questions that I came up for each of the ministry in my Cabinet Members coursework. She also told me that I have potential to be a good journalist. It might be a small and petty compliment to others but for me I couldn't have been happier. Besides, for a person like me who shy away from attention and who loathe to speak in front of public I did myself proud by garnering compliments from my lecturers that I'm good in my presentation. They said that I managed to deliver my points efficiently with my voice being loud and clear and also by my body language. I actually scored a 27/30 for my Hubungan Etnik presentation; the highest mark he has ever given to all of the 200+ students that he was teaching. I am not stating all this to brag but with all the negativity and downs that I was having in my life lately all these are actually a very good turns of events in my life. Compliments that will keep me going and striving hard to achieve what I want.

P.s: am going to study super hard to score a 3.75/4.00 CGPA for my first semester (:

enough said.

Writing my dreams

A career you love or a career that pays? Money does matter to me but I do believe that passion triumphs all. I had registered for college and will be taking up journalism. Despite how others deem this job to be tiring, lifeless and do not pay much, I'm still adamant about doing this for life. I believe that a job that you love doing will eventually pay. Although I'm still a lil insecure about my writing ability and still finds it hard to believe that people are complementing me on my pieces, I decided to follow my heart and go through with my decision.

Will be resigning end of this month and frankly speaking, I'm a little heavy hearted. I started this job feeling scared and stress out but eventually I grew to love it; the different type of people you meet everyday, the quirky and lively colleagues, and obviously the money I'm making. I had even thought of staying in this industry but decided the better of it. In the near distant future I might venture back into this line but for now I will just concentrate on my enthusiasm on starting college and staying at the hostel. My hostel fetish might wane off after a few weeks but for now I'm all hyped up about being independent.