Friday, September 23, 2011


CGPA : 3.9375

"You are pretty harsh on yourself. Do you know that?" she was told. It was a statement more of a question and the many retorts that were instantly sprung within her died upon reaching her lips and was instead replaced by a infinitesimal nod of her head. She knew she should deny it vehemently but by doing so she would be lying outright to that one person who had managed to see through her and no matter how much she wanted to she knew she couldn't do it. She wanted to explain it but she knew she couldn't find the right words to do so and so she sat there numbly and stared back at that one person who had managed to unravel what she had kept deep and dark inside of her for so many long and lonely years.

She always knew that she's harder on herself more than anyone else. She couldn't explain why she wanted everything to be perfect because for as long as she knows that's just how things should be. She couldn't tell people that she's not satisfied with her results just because it's tainted by that one A- for she knew that by doing so, one would deemed her to be cocky and will put her entire action as a parade to fish for compliments. However, that's not how the thing is for her. For she really felt that her results is just not perfect enough. She couldn't tell them that for the very same reason why she couldn't understand why she is such a perfectionist herself; why she just have to wrap all her books impeccably before stamping them with her name; why she is only willing to draw a line with a ruler and not without it; why she's such a frigid person who yearns for a change and yet unwilling to take drastic measure.

It's not a want for her but rather it's a need. A need to do everything perfectly because everything else just isn't and so with a voice that seemed rather shaky, she replied as calmly as she could, "Because that's the only way I can cope."


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